


What If We Were Fools For Another Reason?

by RandoFando_Spoonie



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 3.12 coda, 3.13 missing scenes, 3.14 canon and missing scenes, Bisexual Buck, Coming Out, First Kiss, Idiots in Love, M/M, Masturbation, Mostly Canon Compliant, Movie Nights, NOT BUDDIE, PTSD, PTSD dreams suck, Trouble In Paradise?, Worried Chim, more canon divergent after 3.15, no actual assault though, tw: mentions of assault, tw: mentions of gay bashing, tw: nightmare of sexual assault, what if, worried buck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23386432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandoFando_Spoonie/pseuds/RandoFando_Spoonie
Summary: Buck had never questioned his sexuality, but a few seemingly random events make him question something else...ON HIATUS
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Howie "Chimney" Han, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Josh Russo, Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 184
Kudos: 233





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Josh's tease about Maddie trying to set him and Buck up on this week's ep of 9-1-1 really stuck with me, especially with Buck's lack of freak out about it and then Josh getting assaulted. I woke up this morning with this idea in my head and it wouldn't leave me alone so~ here it is.

Buck had never really questioned his sexuality, he knew pretty early on that he liked both boys and girls. And he knew pretty early on that his sister Maddie was really the only one he could tell. It was safer that way.

When he got to LA and joined the fire department he did his best to stick to girls, it was just easier that way. And he had, sure he'd seen guys he wouldn't have minded hooking up with but he didn't. Sure the firefighters at the 118 wouldn't have cared, at least he didn't think they would but he figured better safe than sorry.

Then, Edmundo Diaz had walked into the 118 and everything changed. The man was...sex on a stick. Tall, but not taller than Buck, strong, -beautiful-, funny, intelligent, and above all Buck soon learned, an amazing father. This, Buck soon found, was not easy at all. He'd lay alone at night, especially after the accident, thinking about Eddie. All kind of naughty male nurse fantasies played through his head. It was bad. He wanted Eddie in a way he'd never wanted anyone, except maybe Abby, but even Abby was different.

One night, things changed. Maddie and Chim had invited him and Josh over to play cards. They were the “Solos”, the only single people that Mads and Chim knew that didn't have kids, or at least a date that night. Even -Albert-, Chim's little brother who hadn't been in LA that long had a date that night. That stung.

“You know, if I didn't know better Maddie, I swear you were trying to set us up with each other.” Josh joked and Buck felt his stomach flip-flop.

He laughed it off, smirked, because everyone assumed Buck was straight, only Maddie knew otherwise. But that night at home Buck couldn't entirely get Josh outta his mind. He was smart, funny, cute, sweet. They'd commiserated over being “Solos” and how hard it was to find someone decent, genuine on dating apps. 

Buck lay in bed that night and worked on getting himself off as he did most nights really. He thought of running his fingers through dark hair, staring into brown eyes turned almost black with lust and desire. He groaned deeply, but for the first time in months, the name that fell from his lips as he climaxed wasn't Eddie's...it was Josh's.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck is confused, he has a few rough days but gets some good advice from Christopher.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! This is my fist 911 story and I was really worried about doing a Buck/Josh story but I'm soooo happy you guys like it so far! Thanks for all the kudos and comments!

Buck was confused, terribly so, Eddie had been the be-all, end-all, of his sexual fantasies since the ex-soldier had joined the 118. Every night Buck would stroke himself and think of how amazing it would be to lay Eddie down, make him curse in Spanish and then scream his name as he gave them both exactly what they wanted and needed. 

Last night that had changed...-why- had that changed? Was it just exposure? Josh being the last single guy he'd seen? Been the last person, joking or not, he'd thought about going out with? Or was it something else? 

Hearing Eddie talk about Chris's teacher, Ana, he almost sneered, had made him sick to stomach. Hearing Carla talk about the flirting and goo-goo eyes they'd made at each other over Parent/Teacher night twisted his guts all up. And why hadn't he been invited? He was Chris's Buck, he was the one person Eddie trusted more than anyone else, even Carla, Eddie'd said so. So why was it he was always left out of these things? Was he not as important as he thought he was? Was he really fooling himself that he meant as much to Eddie as Eddie and Christopher had come to mean to him?

When Buck heard from Carla that Christopher had gotten hurt he was devastated, and even more confused, because Eddie hadn't called him, hadn't asked him to be there for Christopher, sure he'd had a shift but everyone at the 118 knew how important Christopher was to Buck, they would've understood him going to check on him.

Buck felt bad, maybe less than he should have, but bad enough after commenting about Eddie snapping at the teacher and her possibly flunking Chris because of it. He tried to apologize to Eddie but the words, like they so often did, came out wrong.

He was at home, relaxing and watching a movie when Maddie called to tell him Josh had been “mugged”. Something sounded off and when he pressed her, she gave a sigh and explained everything. He could tell that this wasn't really something that Josh wanted a lot of people knowing but his sister clearly needed someone to talk to. His gut twisted in a whole different way realizing that Josh had been hurt because of something he had no control over. 

A couple days later, while helping Christopher and Eddie with the skateboard rig Buck could almost forget the anger and concern that'd been growing in his mind since Maddie called the other night. When they were done Christopher looked at him in that way the young boy had and sighed.

“What's wrong Buck?” 

Buck sighed softly, “Nothing you need to worry about buddy.” 

Christopher looked at him again, “But you're worried. What happened?”

Eddie and Carla turned to watch Buck too and he crumbled. “A friend of mine got hurt the other night buddy, and I'm worried about him. He's trying to be brave and I don't know how to help him.”

Christopher frowned, “Maybe you should go see him.” He suggested, “Seeing you always makes me feel better when I'm hurt.”

Buck blinked and laughed, shaking his head, “I don't know buddy.”

Christopher smiled at Buck, “Why not?” 

“It's complicated buddy.” 

“No, it's not.” Christopher replied, “He's hurt, you should go see him.” 

Eddie's lips twitched, “You heard him Buck. He's hurt, you should go see him.”

Buck wasn't sure if Eddie was agreeing with Christopher to make his son feel better, if he was trying to get rid of Buck, or if he was just paranoid but he sighed.

“Yeah, alright buddy. Thanks.” He ruffled the kid's hair and looked at Eddie, “You and Carla gonna be okay to get Chris outta this thing?” He took one look at the look on Carla's face and laughed, holding his hands up in surrender, “Alright, alright, I'm going.” 

Buck left Carla, Eddie, and Christopher behind, jogging to his car. He got in and sighed, you always took something when you visited someone's else but what do you take to say “sorry you got gaybashed”? He texted Maddie a few questions about Josh, his tastes and all that and after making sure Josh wasn't working he headed over to his new friend's house.


	3. Chapter 3

Buck stood outside Josh's apartment door, bottle of wine in one hand, cheesy old movie tucked under his arm. He still didn't know if this was a good idea but he had to be able to tell Christopher that he'd at least -tried- the next time he saw him. He took a deep breath, blew it out slowly and knocked on the door. 

It took long enough that Buck was seriously considering either knocking again or leaving, but then he heard the chain sliding off the door, the lock clicking to unlocked and then door opened. Buck felt like he'd punched in the gut seeing Josh's bruised face.

“Buck?” the older man was clearly confused, “What are you doing here?”

Buck almost couldn't speak, he wanted to pull Josh in close and just hold him, let him know it was okay, while at the same time he wanted to hunt down the bastards that did this to his friend and beat their asses. 

He cleared his throat and made himself speak, “Uh...Maddie said you had a bad night. I thought maybe wine and a movie might help?” He lifted the copy of Casablanca he'd managed to find from where it was tucked under his arm, “I hear this one is good, even if it's -really- old.”

Josh blinked at him and Buck was worried he'd say no, at least until he admitted he'd never seen the movie in his hands, which made Josh gasp softly.

“You -hear- it's “good”?” Josh asked, seeming completely shocked, “It's -amazing-. Come on, we have to fix your clearly woeful movie knowledge.” He snagged the movie from Buck's hand and stepped back so he could enter the apartment.

It was a nice place, not quite as open concept as his loft, but it was nice. It was neat, warm, expressive, like Josh.

Josh closed the door and pointed to the kitchen, “Wineglasses are in the cupboard above the sink. Corkscrew's in the top right drawer. I'll get the movie set up and then we can pop some popcorn.”

Buck nodded, “Sure, sounds...wait, wine and popcorn?”

Josh laughed, wincing as it aggravated his ribs and the bruises on his face, “Trust me.”

Buck felt bad for making him laugh but nodded, “Okay.” He headed into Josh's clean, modern looking kitchen, finding the corkscrew and wineglasses. 

Buck was just pulling the cork out of the wine bottle when Josh joined him. He went to reach for something on a high shelf and hissed. Buck looked over, frowning softly as Josh tried again and hissed again.

“Let me.” He moved over, resting a gentle hand on Josh's shoulder, “Benefits of being a giant.” He winked, making Josh chuckle and nod.

“Well, alright, but only because I wouldn't want you to not use your giantness.”

Buck laughed, “Gee, thanks.” 

Josh pointed at the bowl he was trying to down and Buck got it down, “Big bowl for one person.” He teased.

“Oh well, I thought...” Josh was flustered, “I can put it in two smaller bowls once it's done.”

Buck grinned and realized Josh was kinda cute when he was flustered. “No, it's okay. I don't mind sharing.” Buck set the bowl on the counter for Josh who was pouring the wine. “So, how are we making the popcorn? Microwave or...?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Josh watch a movie, and Buck opens up.

After popping popcorn using Josh's popcorn maker and laughing as a few kernels got away on them they headed to the living room and sat on opposite ends of the very comfy looking, and feeling as it turned out, couch. Josh set the bowl of popcorn on the middle cushion and then turned on the movie. 

Buck wasn't much for wine, but he sipped the dry white his sister always had her place and Josh had seemed to like during poker night.

They sat silently, munching popcorn a while and watching the movie. Buck didn't really get it, but Josh was clearly enjoying himself so he figured it was worth it. He was busy watching the movie when he reached over in to the now nearly empty bowl of popcorn, which Josh was right, went -really- well with the wine, and froze their fingers connected. He looked over, Josh staring at him too, neither man daring to breathe.

It took a long few moments before Buck pulled his hand back, “Sorry man, my bad. I didn't...I wasn't...the movie is uh...it's not bad.”

Josh blinked, flushing a bit, “No no, it's okay. I wasn't either.” He laughs then, “Not bad? Let me guess, you like...explosions, burly men saving pretty women or something like that?”

Buck frowned, “Well, uh...yeah, I guess. I also like more...modern movies.”

Josh shook his head, “It's okay, there's a reason lots of different types of movies are made.” He shifted a bit, careful of his injuries and smiled at Buck, “I'll make you a deal, we finish -this- movie, and next time we can watch something more -your- speed.”

Now it was Buck's turn to blink, “Ne-next time?” He licked his lips, not sure why the idea of a next time was making him feel like he had butterflies in his stomach, but he did.

Josh frowned, “I mean, assuming you -want- there to be a next time.” He sighed, “I don't know about you but, I'm having a good time.”

Buck nodded, he was, he really was, which surprised him. “No, no I am. This is...nice. Usually my movie nights are with Eddie and Christopher, so we usually end up watching a bunch of Disney movies because Christopher loves them.”

Josh nodded, “Right, Maddie's told me about Eddie and Christopher, they sound pretty great.” 

Buck nodded back, “They are. Christopher is a great kid, never lets anything get him down. And he could you know? But he's got such a sunny personality and a great outlook on life. Never thought I'd look up to a kid but, I do. Christopher makes me want to be a better person.”

Josh smiled, wincing slightly and Buck realized it probably hurt with the bruising. He also realized that Josh's eyes almost twinkled when he was happy, like he was now.

“I'm really sorry for what happened to you Josh, it's bullshit.” 

Josh blinked, “Oh, so Maddie told you.”

“She needed to vent to someone I guess. And I think, maybe she thought I'd understand? A little.”

Josh looked confused, “How would you be able to understand?”

Buck sighed, “I don't talk much about...my family, to anyone really. But Maddie and I didn't have great parents. They weren't exactly the understanding sort you know? But I knew, from a pretty early age that I liked girls a lot, but I also knew around the same age, that I liked boys just as much as I liked girls. It wasn't until I got older I knew there was a name for it, bisexual.” He grinned, “I just thought maybe I was weird, or broken, or greedy. I told Maddie, she was the only one I really -could- tell. You know?”

Josh was staring at him, “You just told me.”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, and you're the only person I've told since I got to LA. I think, I think part of my obsession with sex when I got here was that I was missing something you know? I was keeping that part of myself secret, pushing away the idea that I wanted, or needed, something else. I like girls, a lot, why couldn't they be enough? But they weren't, not until Abby. Abby was different, special.”

Josh nodded along, letting Buck talk and it was like the floodgates opened up. Buck felt safe, he felt listened to, and for once, with someone other that Maddie, he didn't feel judged.

Buck talked pretty much through the rest of the movie, he talked about how he tried telling a girl he was dating that he was bi and how she freaked out on him, asking him how he could be sure he wasn't just gay and pretending because he didn't want to be different. How in college he'd told a boy he liked he was bi and the guy thought he was disgusting, greedy, was fetishizing gay sex and never spoke to him again. At some point the bowl of popcorn got moved and Josh shifted closer to him. He rested a hand on Buck's knee and gave it a squeeze.

“I am so sorry those things happened to you Buck. There's a lot of biphobia out there, even in the LGBT community and it sucks.” He smiled softly, careful of the bruises on his face, “But I'm glad you came out to me, that you felt safe enough to do so.”

Buck shifted, setting his wine down finally and rested his hand over Josh's, “I do, I do feel safe with you Josh. You're...sweet, funny, kind, understanding, caring. You're a really great guy and I'm glad Maddie introduced us.”

Josh seemed a bit flustered but he nodded, “I'm glad she did too.”

The movie ended about then and suddenly things seemed a bit...awkward. Buck lifted his hand and sighed, “Well I uh...I should probably go. I have a shift tomorrow so I should get some sleep or something.”

Josh nodded, “Right, yah and I need to get rest to heal.” 

He got up and took the mostly empty bowl and his wineglass to the kitchen. Buck followed with his own and set it in the sink. They didn't speak again until they were at the door.

“So, uh...I had a really good time Josh.” Buck grinned, looking a bit sheepish, “Could I have your number so we can set up...next time? And just keep in touch if you need to talk. Or just want to.”

Josh grinned back, his eyes twinkling, “I had a really good time too Buck, definitely better than my last movie date...not that this was a date or anything.” He flushed, “But yeah, phone number sure.” He gave Buck his number, watching the younger man put it in his phone. 

Buck grinned and texted Josh, “There, now you have my number.” He opened the door and stepped partway out into the hall. “I'll uh...see you around.”

He went to leave, paused a moment, and then turned back to Josh who was still in the doorway. He didn't know why he did it, but he did it. Butterflies be damned, he bent down and pressed a soft kiss to Josh's lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! Two chapters in one day! Oh my gosh! This story will not leave me alone. I'm already working on Chapter 6, which will be slightly different and you'll see why when it gets posted, probably tomorrow. I am so happy people are liking this. I will be honest I was SO nervous doing such a rare pair but also pairing Buck with someone -other- than Eddie but I've seen so much Buck/Josh commentary on Tumblr I just had to try it.

Time almost seemed to stand still as they stood there. Buck still didn't know why he was doing this, but it felt right. The butterflies still fluttered in his stomach, and they got worse when he felt Josh's hand grasp his hip and Josh's lips move against his. Oh, okay, this was...this was happening. He shifted just a bit to, very carefully, wrap an arm around Josh and hold the older man close as they took a few soft breaths between presses of lips, slowly exploring this soft, almost chaste kiss. Buck heard a soft groan and he wasn't sure if was from him or from Josh but he slowly pulled back just enough to be able to see Josh's eyes.

Buck had a feeling his eyes were as wide and surprised as Josh's, “Wow.” He barely dared breath the word.

Josh gave a small nod, “Yeah.” He softly agreed.

Buck straightened but kept his arm around Josh, “So...maybe next time, can be a date? You could come to my place? I can make us dinner, we can watch a movie.”

Josh's cheeks pinked as Buck talked but he nodded, “I'd like that.”

Buck's face split into a grin, “Yeah? Great!” He looked like a kid who just got told he was going to DisneyLand for his birthday. “I'll see you later then. Call me, later.”

He kissed Josh one more time, soft and quick, before they both dropped their arms.

“I will Buck, promise.”

Buck walked down the hall towards the stairs, feeling Josh's eyes on him until he passed out of sight. He made it to his car, got in and sighed happily. He felt...amazing! He'd have to thank Christopher next time he saw him. He lifted a hand and gently stroked his bottom lip still able to feel and taste the wine and salt from Josh's lips on his own.

He'd wanted to take it further, wanted to -very- much, but he had a feeling he'd been pushing the limits just kissing Josh. He was honestly surprised Josh hadn't freaked out after what happened to him last time. He hoped that was good sign, that Josh trusted him, liked him enough to know he wouldn't hurt him.

The drive home was a bit of a blur, but he got home okay. He entered his loft, made his way upstairs and stretched. He needed a shower, possibly a cold one...or maybe not.

He stripped down, got into the shower and started to wash off. He studiously ignored his cock until he was pretty much washed off. Then he braced against the wall with one hand and wrapped the other around his length. He groaned as he worked his hand up and down, mind filled with the feel of Josh's lips, how soft they were, how good they felt against his own. How good they might feel kissing down his chest, grazing his abs as he moved lower. Buck cried out in shock as he came hard as the Josh in his mind wrapped those beautiful lips around him. He called out Josh's name as he imagined looking down into those twinkling brown eyes and spilling into his mouth. He panted harshly, dammit, he hadn't lasted -that- short a period of time since high school. He shakily rinsed off, rinsed down the tub and then got out. He pulled on his pj pants, tee shirt and got into bed.

He hummed and then texted Josh: _Got home okay. Had a nice hot shower and now I'm off to sleep. Take care. See you soon I hope._

Message sent Buck turned the sound off on his phone and drifted off thinking of Josh and where this new...whatever this was might go.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh's point of view of the start of Chapter 5 and what he did after Buck went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a rare pair fic, I know a -lot- of people have strong feelings about Buddie. Let me just say, if you do fine, so do I honestly, but if you're sitting there reading this, pining away and hoping that Buck and Eddie will "finally" realize their feelings for each other at the end? This fic is not for you. 
> 
> This fic is for those of us who saw the teasing, the possibly subtle flirting between Josh and Buck in 3.12 and thought of possibilities. This is for those of us that noticed that Buck seemed more offended that Maddie -wouldn't- set him up with Josh, not because Josh is guy -but- because "I like you too much to set you up with my sibling" trope. But more importantly, this fic is for -me-, to get this ridiculously adorable plot bunny out of my head and give Buck and Josh both some love. 
> 
> Buck and Eddie are tagged as "Buck & Eddie" which is the FRIENDSHIP tag because there will be Buck and Eddie friendship moments in this fic, but this is not a Buddie fic.

Josh froze as Buck bent down and kissed him. Oh... _oh._ It surprised him both how good it felt and how -not- scared he was. It took him a moment to work through his shock and then he rested a hand on Buck's hip and started to kiss him back. He took his time and to his surprise, given everything Maddie'd said about her brother, so did Buck. He heard a groan and he wasn't sure if it was him or Buck, but that's when Buck started to pull back.

He wondered if his eyes were that wide and surprised too.

“Wow.” Buck spoke just above a whisper and Josh could only nod.

“Yeah.” He finally managed.

He watched Buck straighten, keeping his arm around him as he spoke, “So...maybe next time, can be a date? You could come to my place? I can make us dinner, we can watch a movie.”

He felt himself blushing as Buck talked but he nodded, “I'd like that.” And to his surprise, he would.

He watched Buck's face split into a grin, “Yeah? Great!” He looked like a kid who just got told he was going to DisneyLand for his birthday. “I'll see you later then. Call me, later.”

Buck kissed him one more time, soft and quick, before they both dropped their arms.

“I will Buck, promise.” And he meant it.

He watched Buck walk down the hall and he absolutely check out his ass as he walked. Maddie's brother was -hot-, like way out of his league hot. Josh wasn't sure why the younger man had come by, why he'd brought the movie and wine, joined him, any of it. But he was glad, he'd been so worried people would look down on him for what happened, he was a 911 operator, he should be able to read people, figure out when they're lying and this guy had fooled him, completely.

He waited till Buck was out of sight and then closed his door, locked it and slide the chain across too just to be sure.

Josh made his way back to the kitchen, washed the popcorn bowl and the wineglasses, thinking the whole time about Buck. He was tall, handsome, funny, surprisingly sweet, and had depths to him that Josh hadn't expected. He'd been through a lot because of who he was and it sucked. Buck was right, they had more in common than he'd thought they did. He may have been joking about Maddie setting them up the other night but now, he wasn't sure that would have been a bad thing.

He dried the dishes and put them away before moving back to the couch and finding an old movie to put on Netflix. He was enjoying the movie when his phone went off with a text notification.

He smiled softly at the message from Buck and texted back, _Sweet dreams Buck. Let me know when you're up and I'll call. I had a great time today. Thanks for coming by._

He laid his head back against the back of the couch and tried not to think about how beautiful Buck's eyes were...or how much, in certain ways, Buck looked like his attacker. Blond hair, blue eyes, tall, muscular. Though Buck was taller and more muscular, which helped a little bit. And Buck was so gentle with him, so sweet. It was shocking considering what a man-whore Maddie made him out to be.

As Josh finished watching his movie he started thinking more about Buck, about what it might be like to -date- Buck, when he was ready of course. Then again he'd already agreed to a first date, and Buck's place no less. He hadn't realized Buck could cook, but it was kind of hot to think about. A hot, young, sexy firefighter making him dinner, maybe cuddling on his couch, and maybe, just maybe sharing a few more soft, sweet kisses. Josh had a feeling Evan “Buck” Buckley might just be exactly what he needed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck gets a phone call, Josh is not alright.

Buck woke up before his shift and checked his phone. He grinned at the text from Josh and sent a quick one back letting him know he was up and getting ready for work. He didn't expect Josh to be up this early, it was 4:30 am after all so Buck was surprised when his phone rang.

“Morning.” He answered pretty cheerfully but then frowned at the panting breaths he heard on the other end.

“You have, amazing timing.” Josh's almost panicked sounding voice came across the line.

“Whoa, whoa what's going on man. Just...just focus on my voice and breathe slow and deep okay?” Buck leaned against his counter, letting the coffee brew as he tried to talk Josh through what was happening.

“I...I'm trying, I am.” Josh's voice sounded a little calmer and Buck smiled.

“Good. Just focus on my voice, breath in, two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four. Out, two, three, four.” Buck repeated the count two more times, “Alright now, how do you feel?”

“Little better, it was just...so...so real you know?” Josh's voice shook and Buck's frown deepened.

“Yeah, I know.” He licked his lips, “How do you take your coffee?”

There was silence for a long few moments and then Josh answered, “Cream, two sugars.”

Buck grinned, “Sweet, like you. Alright, look. Turn some lights on if you haven't already, put on some music that calms you down, and if you're not dressed, get dressed, I'll be over in less than ten okay?”

More silence and Buck was worried he'd overstepped.

“I'm not sure if I'm more shocked you think I'm sweet, or that you sort of asked if I sleep naked.” Josh's voice was still shaky but there was laughter in it too.

Buck blushed deep red and he was very glad Josh couldn't see him, “Of course I think you're sweet, why wouldn't I?” Buck asked, “And how would I know how you sleep? Every man's different right?”

Josh's laugh was soft, “Thank you Buck, and yeah, I guess we are. See you soon?”

Buck grinned, “You're welcome Josh, and yeah, soon.” He shifted and grabbed two travel mugs, filling both with hot coffee, he hummed softly, “Do you want me to stay on the phone with you till I get there? I can go handsfree in the car.”

There was a pause on Josh's end and Buck heard the rustle of sheets as Josh, presumably, got out of bed, “I don't know.” The answer was unsure and Buck frowned.

“It's okay if you need it Josh, you're obviously shaken up.” He added cream and two sugars to one of the coffees, stirring it well, “I'm here for you, whatever you need.”

“I think...I need to stop distracting you and let you get here. I'll put some music on, that'll help.” Josh made his decision and Buck smiled softly.

“Alright, I'll text when I've pulled up so you can get the door, it'll be hard to knock with two coffees.” Buck was adding cream to the other coffee as he spoke.

“Okay, see you soon.”

“You bet.”

They said their good-byes and hung up. Buck was glad it didn't take him long to dress. He left the coffees, lids already on, on the counter and jogged upstairs to his bedroom. He shucked his pjs quickly and pulled on boxer-briefs, a t-shirt, socks and jeans. He made it back downstairs in less than five, sitting quickly to pull his boots on and tie them up. He shrugged on a jacket against the early morning chill before snagging the coffees from the kitchen and heading out. He juggled the coffees as he locked up and headed for the car.

The drive didn't take long but it was too long in Buck's mind. Josh needed him. He was really glad he'd given Josh his number yesterday. He pulled into the guest parking at Josh's building and texted him. _I'm here. Be right up._

He pocketed his phone, grabbed the coffees and once the car was locked and keys were in his other pocket he headed up to Josh's place.

Josh stood in the doorway waiting for him and when Buck saw how shaken he was he quickened his steps. He made it to Josh and gasped as the older man wrapped his arms around him, shaking as he did so.

“Easy, easy, I got you.” Buck wrapped his arms around Josh as best he could while holding the coffees. “Take a breath, you're safe, I'm here.”

He felt Josh take a deep, somewhat stuttering breath, and relax some as he exhaled. He took another and then slowly stepped back. Buck smiled down at him softly when Josh looked up at him.

“Come on, let's get inside and we can talk okay?”

Josh nodded and stepped back into the apartment. Buck followed him in and passed him the coffee he'd made for him.

“Feel free to add more cream or sugar if you need to, I like pretty strong coffee.”

Josh took a sip and sighed, “It's perfect.”

Buck grinned, well that was good. He watched Josh close and lock the door, slide the chain into place before he turned back to him. The soft sound of Frank Sinatra's voice crooning filled the apartment just loud enough to hear. Buck blinked, well whatever worked right?

Josh led him to the couch again and sat down, sipping his coffee slowly. Buck joined him but didn't sit too close.

“So, you wanna talk about it?”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Josh talk about Josh's nightmare and Josh realizes that there's more the younger Buckley than meets the eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh you guys, this one took so long to write! I think part of me was dreading it but also part of me got hijacked by my H50 muse because oh wow did that finale need a re-write or 10. So! I've got 3 fics in progress, plus offline stuff soooo updates might start being a bit more sporadic, but I am hoping to get "caught up" fic timeline wise to the end of 3.13 before 3.14 next on Monday. Wish me luck!

Buck watched Josh sip his coffee and contemplate his question. After a few minutes filled by Sinatra's 'Fly Me to the Moon' Josh sighed heavily.

“It started the way it really happened you know? Greg kissing me, asking me to go somewhere more private with him.” His hands started to shake.

Buck reached over, resting a gentle hand on his shoulder, “Take your time, breathe, focus on me and Frank. You're safe Josh, he can't get you here.”

Josh nodded, turning a sad but grateful look to Buck, “Thank you. Thank you so much.” The other man took a slow steadying breath and continued, “So, he leads me away from the crowd to where his friend was waiting. The conversation went mostly the same, the beating...was worse, so much worse.”

Tears started slipping down Josh's cheeks and Buck couldn't take it anymore. He set his coffee down and shifted to draw Josh into his arms. The older man sagged against Buck's chest and Buck just held him close, rocking them gently.

“I got you Josh, you're safe now.” He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Josh's head. “You don't have to say yes or no, you can just nod okay?” 

Josh nodded, crying against Buck's chest. Buck gently, carefully, rubbed Josh's back trying to soothe and comfort Josh.

“In your dream, was the assault...just physical?” He asked the question softly and felt Josh shudder.

The shudder would've been confirmation enough but Josh shook his head.

“Oh Josh.” He kissed the top of his head again, rocking him gently as Josh clung to him and sobbed, “Do you...wanna tell me? No one else ever needs to know.”

Josh hiccuped as Buck did his best to comfort the trembling man. 

“His friend had a beer bottle.” He spoke softly, “In the dream he had it. They beat me so bad, so...so much worse than they actually did. When I was limp they tossed me over the wall and...” He shuddered hard, “I woke up as they shoved the bottle in.”

Buck -actually- growled, holding Josh as tight as he dared with his injuries. “I wish I could find these assholes and just...” He cut himself off, not wanting to upset Josh.

The older man leaned back and looked Buck, “You'd do that for me?” His voice was soft and small, so unsure sounding it made Buck's heart ache.

“In a heartbeat. You're my friend, you're Maddie's friend and we're...well, maybe actually a little more than friends, or working that way, and...”

He got cut off again as Josh kissed him. Buck groaned, one of his hand moving to cup the side of Josh's neck, his thumb stroking along Josh's jaw as he gave as good as he was getting. Buck couldn't believe what an amazing kisser Josh was now that they were -really- getting into it. He moaned, he knew it was him this time, and made himself pull back, gently press Josh back. They were both panting and Josh looked, shocked and then mortified.

“Oh my god, Buck, I'm so sorry.” Josh spoke, rapidly, like he had during poker night. “I shouldn't have done that, it was...it was beyond inappropriate. God you'll probably never want to see me again.”

Buck blinked and then smiled softly, he moved his hand to stroke Josh's cheek, “You have nothing to be sorry for Josh. It wasn't inappropriate, not exactly. You were overcome with emotion, we both know it can happen. And under any other circumstances I wouldn't have stopped. But these aren't...normal circumstances, you need to heal, you need to rest and recover. And as much as I think we'd be...great together, we owe it to each other and to ourselves, to take this slow okay?”

Josh looked dumbfounded, “You don't hate me? You don't think I'm needy or something else awful?”

Buck shook his head, “Not at all. You had your trust broken pretty badly by someone you thought was great. You're craving comfort and confirmation that you're a good person, that you're still desirable. And you are, you absolutely are Josh, but I don't want to ruin a good thing by jumping into bed too early. Especially with you being injured. If or when we finally end up there, I want us both 100% mentally, physically, all of it okay? You deserve someone who respects you, who wants you for you and who can show you how amazing you are.”

Josh was flushing and his eyes had gotten shiny with tears again. Buck moved his hand again, gently brushing away a tear that spilled over. 

“You have...hidden depths Buck.” When Josh spoke his voice was thick with emotions, “I am really looking forward to exploring them with you.”

Buck grinned, “Me too.” He kissed Josh soft and quick on the lips, “Why don't you go wash up, take a few minutes to just breathe and I'll see if I can't find us something to make for breakfast before I have to go. Sound good?”

Josh nodded, “Sounds great actually. Wait, you can cook?”

Buck laughed, “Maddie was pretty surprised too, but Bobby, my Captain at the 118, he's an amazing cook and I've been having him show me how to make things through the years. I'm not as good as him but I'm not gonna burn water anymore.”

Josh laughed, wincing as it aggravated his ribs, “You are just full of surprises.” He stole one more kiss and then slid off Buck's lap and headed for the bathroom to wash up.

Buck kissed Josh back and watched him go a moment before he snagged his coffee and headed for Josh's kitchen to see what he could make for them pretty quickly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is officially my most read, most kudo'd, most commented on fic and wow! I love you guys so much. I am so glad people are liking this fic and enjoying the rare-pair of Josh and Buck. "Jock" as a few people have called them, which is amazing. Thank you so much to everyone that's read, sent comments, given kudos, you fuel me!

After a nice breakfast of eggs, toast and sausage patties, along with more coffee, Buck and Josh had cuddled a bit longer on the couch before Buck had to go to work. He'd kissed Josh softly and sweetly as he left.

“I'll have my phone on me all day, if you need anything text or call me okay?” 

“I will, thanks Buck.”

Buck had smiled, stroked Josh's cheek and headed to work. When he got there he grinned at Eddie, patting the man on the shoulder.

“Tell Christopher I said thank you. He was right, going over to see Josh really helped.” 

Eddie blinked, “Josh?”

“Yeah uh...my friend, the one that got hurt? I went over last night, we watched an old movie, ate some popcorn. Christopher was right, it made him feel better, and it made me feel better. Seeing him, knowing it wasn't as bad as I was making it in my head.”

Eddie nodded and then frowned, “Wait, is this -Maddie's- friend Josh?”

Buck nodded back, shifting to start changing into his gear, “Yeah he uh...he was mugged the other night.” Buck hated lying to Eddie but Josh was pretty adamant about as few people as possible knowing the truth. “They got his phone, car keys, wallet. The cops found everything again later, other than the money in his wallet. Honestly I'm just glad he's okay.”

Eddie paused, buttoning up his shirt and watched Buck, “Yeah? I didn't know you guys were that close.”

“We weren't? I mean I knew him to see him, said hi to him a few times when I'd visit Maddie at work or whatever. But Chim and Maddie had the two of us over for cards the other night and I don't know, he's a really nice guy.” Buck grinned, tucking his shirt in and doing up his belt, “We sorta hit it off and when Maddie called to tell me what happened it really bugged me you know?”

Eddie sat to put his boots on, continuing to nod along, “Yeah, sounds like. Christopher was worried about you last night. He'll be happy to know Josh is okay and that his advice helped. He loves helping his Buck.”

Buck grinned, he loved being Christopher's Buck. It made him feel really good. “He did, definitely.” 

\-----

The 118 made it through the first half of their shift pretty easily. They were just sitting down to lunch when Buck's phone rang. He excused himself and moved out of earshot from his team, though he did grin when he saw it was Josh on the line.

“Hey you, I was gonna call you after lunch and check in.” Buck leaned against the rail as he spoke.

“Oh, did I interrupt? I can let you go.” Josh sounded worried, upset that'd bugged Buck.

“Not really, lunch'll still be there when I hang up. What's going on, you okay?”

There was a small hesitation, “They want me to go back to work tomorrow.”

Buck blinked, “You feel up to it?”

“I think so, I'm just worried they're gonna make a big deal about it, you know?”

“Well they're your co-workers and your friends, they clearly care about you Josh. We've done the same for Chim when he came back, the 118 even threw me a party after my leg was healed and I passed my re-certs.” Buck frowned, “You worried they're gonna ask and you're gonna have to keep up appearances?”

“A little.” Josh admitted, “I just...I can't tell anyone you know? If I do that then I have to admit I lied to the cops and it's just...a mess.”

Buck hummed, “Yeah, I get you. And I understand why you didn't want to say anything. This has clearly shook your confidence. I don't blame you for being cautious you know?”

“Really? Maddie keeps telling me I need to be honest, that by not telling the truth that Greg might do this to someone else and it just...” He trailed off.

“Maddie has no right to tell you what to do Josh, she's coming from her own trauma and that's...fine, but you also need to do what's best for you okay?” He sighed, “It's probably not the first time this guy's done this, and sure he probably counts on the fact that guys he picks won't say anything, but you can't let that affect how you feel, it's not good for your healing.” 

There was a long silence, long enough Buck was starting to get worried when Josh finally spoke again.

“Thank you Buck. I...I think I needed to hear that.”

“You're welcome Josh.” Buck grinned, “Look, I get off at six. If it's not too soon why don't you come over tonight. Pick a movie, I don't care which one. I'll pick up a few groceries, make us something nice for dinner.”

“You know I think I'd like that. Thank you Buck, I know I keep saying that, I just feel like I need to say it. You've been so amazing.”

Buck's cheeks pinked a bit, “You're welcome Josh, I mean. I know what we've been through isn't the same, but if I can help with my own recovery experiences I will. You don't have any allergies or that do you?”

“You are Buck, more than you know.” There was pause, “No, no allergies. Thanks for checking though.”

Buck smiled, “Anytime. I'll see you around 7 okay? That'll give me time to change, shop and get home.”

“See you at seven.”

Buck gave Josh his address, double checked about wine and then hung up. He made it back to the table and was able to eat nearly all his lunch before the bell rang and they had to run to a call.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie and dinner leads to conversations and Buck taking care of himself once Josh is gone.

After their call Buck had showered and asked Bobby a bunch of cooking questions, just to make sure he knew what the was doing. Bobby'd asked a few questions himself and Buck had had to fight not to blush too much.

He'd changed into nice jeans and a button-down shirt when he got him. The top couple buttons were undone and he'd rolled the sleeves up just past his elbows. He was in the kitchen cooking up a nice shrimp scampi when Josh knocked on the door. He checked to make sure nothing would burn and jogged to the door.

He opened the door and smiled down at Josh, “Hey you.” He bent and kissed his cheek, “Come on in.”

He stepped back and let Josh come in. “I brought a movie like you asked.” He showed Buck the movie.

“Terminator huh? Alright, cool.” He took the movie and then took Josh's hand once the door was closed. “We can watch it once dinner's ready.”

Josh laughed, “Yeah it seemed like something you might like. And Maddie said you don't watch a lot of older movies. This one's not -old- like Casablanca was but you know.”

Buck grinned, “I'm sure it'll be great.” He set the movie down and looked Josh, “Wine?”

Josh nodded, “Sure. And what are you making because it smells amazing.”

Buck couldn't stop grinning, “Shrimp scampi with linguine.” He replied, snagging a wineglass and pouring Josh some of the wine he'd bought on his way home.

Josh took the glass and grinned, “Really? That's...wow. You're gonna spoil me Buck.”

Buck checked on the food and laughed, “That's kinda the plan Josh.” He touched one of the shrimp, nodding when it felt the way Bobby said it should and -looked- the way he said too. “Alright, looks like dinner's just about done.”

They chatted a bit more, getting to know each other better while dinner finished up. Buck dished them out both a decent amount of pasta and shrimp, Josh insisting Buck take more because of how physical his job was, and then he topped up their wineglasses and lead them to the 'living room' area of his loft.

They sat on the couch, watching the movie and eating and Buck had to admit, for a movie made in the 80s it wasn't too bad. They finished eating before the movie was even halfway trough and Josh shifted to lean against Buck, Buck wrapping his arm around Josh as they enjoyed the movie and each other's company.

The movie ended and Josh yawned, “Mmm, I guess I should go home. Big day tomorrow.”

Buck kissed his forehead and nodded, “Yeah you do. And remember, you've got my number. If things get overwhelming you call or text okay? I'm here for you.”

Josh sighed happily, “I know Buck. I think I'd be a lot worse off if I didn't have you right now.”

Buck smiled down at Josh and dipped his head, kissing him softly. They enjoyed the slow, sweet, exploratory kiss for a few minutes before Buck pulled back.

“I know I said it before but...wow.”

Josh flushed, “Mmmhmmm, you are a -really- good kisser Buck.”

Buck laughed, “It's not the -only- thing I'm good at.”

Josh's flush deepened, “I uh...I look forward to finding out all the other things.”

Now it was Buck's turn to flush, “Yeah? Well, I'm looking forward to showing you. -And- finding out what else you're good at because -you- are a fantastic kisser too.”

As if to prove it Buck kissed him again, just enjoying the impromptu makeout session like they were back in high school or something. When they parted again they were both breathing heavily and Josh looked a bit shaken.

“I uh...wow Buck.”

Buck nodded, gently stroking Josh's unbruised cheek, “Yeah, we uh...we're really good at that together.”

Josh nodded too, “We really are, but if we don't stop I think...maybe...we might do something we'll both regret. And I don't want to have any regrets with you.”

Buck flushed deeply, “I don't want to have any regrets with you either Josh.”

They slowly parted and Buck took their dishes into the kitchen while Josh used the bathroom. When they both done with their things Buck made sure to have the movie ready for Josh. Josh just smiled.

“It's a gift silly, keep it. Besides, maybe we can watch it again some time.”

Buck grinned, “Thank you. And I really like that idea. And didn't I hear there's others? Like...more movies?”

Josh nodded, “There are, T2 is the next one and then things get weird and kinda complicated because they try to reboot things or something, I don't entirely know, not really my genre, but we can figure it out together.”

Buck kept grinning, “I like that idea.” They were at the door by then and Buck watched Josh a moment, “I'm having a really great time with you. But uh...text me when you get home? I wanna make sure you're safe.”

Josh flushed and nodded, “I will, promise.”

“Good.” He kissed Josh's cheek, “Good night Josh.”

Josh kissed Buck's cheek in return, “Good night Buck.”

Buck closed the door and made his way to the kitchen to clean up. He took his time, did what he needed to and it wasn't long after he was done wiping down the stove that his phone went off.

He smiled at the message from Josh: _Home safe. Thanks for an amazing dinner and great company. Let's do it again soon. Sweet dreams._

Buck sent a quick reply along the same lines and then headed up to bed. As he lay there his thoughts drifted to Josh and the way they'd kissed on the couch, on what could have happened. Buck's hand drifted lower, pushing his pajama pants out of the way before wrapping around his cock and starting to stroke. He bit his bottom lip, moaning deeply as he thought of carrying Josh up to this bed, laying him down and slowly undressing him. Touching him, kissing him, learning how he liked to be touched, kissed, licked...sucked. He groaned Josh's name as he thought about returning the favour Josh had done him in the fantasy shower the other morning. His hips pumped into his hand as he imagined the noises Josh would make, the way he'd say his name in pleasure. It all built to a head and with a cry of Josh's name Buck came again, working his hand over his cock to draw it out and just enjoy it all a bit longer.

When he was done he lay on his bed panting, but satisfied, or as satisfied as he could on his own. He shifted to get some tissues from the bedside and clean himself up before shutting off the lights and getting comfy in bed.

He definitely didn't want to regret anything he and Josh did together, at the same time he could tell it was getting harder for both of them to put off being physical. Maybe in a few weeks, once Josh had been back to work a while, was more healed up. Maybe. For now Buck settled into sleep and he hoped Josh was doing the same thing.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Josh take things to a new level...in more than one way.

Buck got a few texts from Josh the next day, they'd done a thing for him at work, it was nice, but awkward. Maddie had helped but it wasn't the same. Buck wished he wasn't working a twenty-four hour shift so he could see Josh, but he knew they had to take things slowly and after last night the space was probably a good thing.

Over the next few weeks as Josh healed and when Buck had time off work that synced with Josh's schedule they got together more often. Their make-out sessions got hotter and hotter until one night, about two weeks into their...whatever this was Josh, somewhat surprisingly, pressed Buck onto his back as the credits for T3 rolled and started dry humping him. Buck gripped Josh's hips intent on stopping him when Josh -actually- mewled. Buck's hips jerked up into Josh at the sound and the older man moaned.

“Don't stop Buck, please say we don't have to stop.” he murmured against Buck's skin as he kissed down his neck.

“J-Josh...I...” Buck's eyelids fluttered as Josh kept moving and all thoughts of stopping flew out of Buck's head.

The two of them rocked against each other, seeking friction, seeking more, Buck got his hands between them and made quick work of getting their pants open. Josh shuddered atop him.

“Touch me Buck, I need it.”

“I got you.” Buck grunted, shifting carefully so they didn't fall off his couch and got their pants open and underwear down enough that he could wrap his hand around both of them.

Josh made a sound Buck had rarely heard from another man but he liked it, Josh keened. Buck started working his hand over them, Josh pressing his head into Buck's shoulder, his hips rolling with Buck's movements. It didn't take long the two of them were too worked up at his point and Buck gasped as he felt Josh cumming over his hand, some of it hitting Buck's shirt. The feeling of it, the sounds Josh was making as he moaned Buck's name set the blond off too and he moaned Josh's name deeply as he added his own seed to the mess between them.

Buck's free hand settled gently on Josh's lower back as they panted on the couch.

“I feel like a teenager again.” Josh laughed breathlessly, “That was...amazing Buck.”

Buck laughed too and nodded, “Yeah, yeah it was.” He groaned, “I wish I didn't have another twenty-four hour shift tomorrow, I'd love to spend more time with you.”

Josh shifted to kiss Buck softly, “Don't worry, it'll happen when it's meant to. For right now, this was enough. This was amazing.”

Buck kissed him back and smiled, “You're incredible you know that?”

Josh blushed, “I'm glad you think so Buck.”

“I do, I really do.” Buck replied, “We should get cleaned up. You can borrow one of my t-shirts to get home. I'll pick it up the next time I come over. Sound good?”

Josh blushed, “Sounds great.”

Buck nodded, shifting his hand out from between them, “Good.”

Josh got off the couch first, Buck following to the bathroom. They got tidied up, each helping the other make sure they got everything. Buck pulled a t-shirt on and then picked a slightly smaller one for Josh. Josh hesitated to take his shirt off and Buck frowned, he watched Josh for a moment.

“Look, I can go downstairs, start tidying up down there if you'd prefer.” Buck made the offer and watched Josh instantly relaxing.

“You'd do that? Seriously? God you're amazing.”

Buck nodded, “Of course, I don't want you feeling uncomfortable.”

Josh smiled, “It's not that exactly, it's just you're so buff and I'm...not. And I'm still healing.”

Buck blinked, flushing a bit, “I don't need you to be buff Josh, I just need you to be you.” He shucked the dress pants he'd been wearing and grabbed a pair of jeans, tugging them on till he'd be heading to work, “And the bruises won't change how I feel about you, not ever okay? But, I think me heading downstairs would be best, yeah?”

Josh nodded, looking close to tears. “Thank you Buck. I...I don't know how you know what I need but you do and I adore that.”

Buck smiled, “You don't have to thank me, but you're welcome.” He kissed Josh's cheek, glad he was healing well, “I'll see you downstairs.” 

Buck cleaned up from their movie, putting the unpopped kernels from their popcorn in the compost and going about cleaning out their wineglasses. Was Buck becoming a wine drinker? He thought maybe he was, he was drinking a lot more since he started seeing Josh. Wait, were they seeing each other? He wasn't sure.

He knew Josh was keeping up appearances at work, not really talking about how much time they'd been spending together, it was...strange.

“Well you're looking very serious.” Josh commented, walking into the kitchen. The shirt was -way- too big on him but he looked adorable.

“Wow, uh, would it be cheesy to say I -really- like how you look in my shirt?” Buck grinned, not commenting on the serious comment just yet.

Josh flushed, “Maybe, but lucky for you, I like cheesy.” He walked closer to Buck and smiled, “So, what's got you thinking so deeply?”

Buck grinned, “Yeah? I never would have guessed.” He wrapped an arm loosely around Josh and kissed the tip of his nose. “Us...if there is an us, if we want their to be an us now. I know you wanna take things slow and I am so good with that, it's just...after what just happened it feels like maybe this is more than just wine, good movies, and some hot and heavy kissing.”

Josh's nose wrinkled at the kiss and then he blinked at Buck's answer, “Oh, oh wow, okay that's... a lot. I can see why you're thinking so seriously.” He watched Buck carefully, “I think...maybe you're right. I think we're more than friends now. Maybe even more than friends with benefits?”

Buck grinned at the nose wrinkle, okay that was adorable. He nodded at Josh's initial reaction, “Yeah, yeah it is.” He waited, almost not daring to breathe, as Josh watched him and then spoke. He relaxed, visibly so when Josh spoke again and nodded, “Yeah, definitely more than friends with benefits. I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time...since, Abby actually.” 

Buck had always been hesitant to bring Abby up. One exes weren't a great topic but also, she'd been one of Josh's co-workers, even if they hadn't known each other that well. The reminder might be weird.

Josh smiled as Buck relaxed and nodded, “I'm glad you agree.” He blinked then, “You know, I always forget you and Abby were a thing, isn't that weird?”

Buck shook his head, glad Josh wasn't creeped out by it, “No, I don't think so. I'm just glad you and I are a...thing now.” He pulled Josh closer, kissing him softly, “You're amazing and I am really glad we're...boyfriends now.” Buck hadn't said the word boyfriend in regards to another man in a long time but it felt good.

Josh kissed him back, “Boyfriends, I like that.” He laid his head on Buck's chest, “We don't have to tell anyone else till you're ready. I know coming out has been hard on you in the past.”

Buck gently rubbed Josh's back, “I...thanks. I'm not ashamed, I want you to know that, need you to.” He felt Josh nod against his upper chest, “But you're right, it hasn't always gone great for me. Soon though, I promise. Maybe we can have Maddie and Chim over for dinner, have them be the first to know.”

Josh looked up at him, smiling, “I like that. Maddie's my best friend. She should be the first to know, definitely.”

Buck sighed, “The longer we take the harder it's getting to let you go.”

“Then let me go, you have work to do, lives to save. I'll be waiting when you're done.” He winked at him, teasing him some.

Buck sighed, kissing Josh again, “Alright. Alright, I'll walk you to your car. I've gotta head to the firehouse anyway.”

Buck got Josh a bag for his dirty shirt and once they had everything they needed they headed out, hand-in-hand to Josh's car.

Buck smiled at Josh, dipped and kissed him softly, the first time he'd done that in public really, “I'll call you later.”

Josh nodded, “I look forward to it.”

Buck grinned the whole way to work.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving into and through 3.13, Buck starts thinking about things, a phone call with Josh doesn't go as he thought it would, and our sweet couple has their first spat...possibly? Will they be okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this'll probably be my last chapter till 3.14 air tonight. I hope you guys like it. A comment or two made me thing about a few things and well, it wouldn't 9-1-1 without a bit of drama~.

Buck felt great, well mostly great. They got the woman out of the bowling alley okay, he quoted Terminator even if Eddie had to be a butt about it, and he got praise from Bobby which always felt great. 

They were back at the firehouse when something Josh said earlier started niggling at him. He'd brushed it off originally, but now it was bugging him. It was late, he knew Josh was probably in bed so he didn't call yet. He brooded some but more calls came in and he didn't have time to think about it. 

The next few days were busy but after Chim walked off to make his date with Maddie he frowned, moving to make a call of his own.

“Hey handsome.” Josh's voice came through the phone and Buck couldn't help but smile.

“Hey.” He sighed, “Look I'm probably being stupid but, you said something the other night and I don't know why but I can't get it out of my head.”

“Oh...” Josh sounded worried, “Um...what was it?”

“That you keep forgetting Abby and I were a thing. You asked if it was weird but like I can't stop thinking about it. What did you mean by that?”

There was a long silence, “Nothing really. Just that I keep forgetting that you're Abby's Buck that's all. I mean Abby wasn't really -close- with a lot of us, but she had a lot going on so you know whatever.”

Buck blinked, stung for some reason by Josh's choice of words, “Abby's Buck? Why would you say that?”

“What?” Josh sounded confused, “Well you know, like you're Maddie's brother, you're also...or were, Abby's Buck. Like you and Abby were together.”

“Right but why am I Abby's Buck? I mean, I don't -belong- to her.” Buck for the life of him couldn't understand why he was getting upset but it really bugged him.

“No, no of course not Buck, I didn't mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean?”

“I...just that I see you as Maddie's brother, Chim's friend, my...” He paused, “You know. And so the fact that you and Abby dated sorta slips my mind a lot.”

Buck frowned, it made sense but something about it stung. “Oh. Alright. I'm sorry, I just...I'm more than who I am to other people.”

“Of course you are Buck, you're so much more than that. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. Can I make it up to you?”

Buck frowned, “There's nothing to make up for baby, I'm being silly. Look, I promised Christopher I'd spend the night with him and Eddie, movie night. I think we're watching Big Hero 6 again, but tomorrow night I am -all- yours.”

“Alright, Jamal and I talked about going to karaoke with a few other people from work. Tomorrow night sounds great though.” There was something in Josh's voice, “Look, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about, Maddie says it's just the 'jumping at shadows' phase of my getting over Greg but I'd really like to talk to you about it too.”

Buck's frown returned, “You've been keeping something from me?”

“Well, not exactly, I didn't want you thinking I was being silly which is stupid because you've been the most understanding and supportive person through all of this.”

“Yeah, I have, I can't believe you wouldn't tell me something about this.” Buck was hurt, deeply. He really cared about Josh.

Josh's reply got lost as the bell rang and Buck sighed.

“I didn't catch that, but I have to go, we'll talk more later.” 

“I said I'm sorry. And okay, bye Buck.”

Buck hung up the phone and ran to get geared up.

Buck ended his shift, got showered and met up with Eddie, “Man I could use a good movie night.” He grinned, “Been a while since we've been able to.”

Eddie laughed, “Yeah it has. Christopher misses you. You've been spending a lot time with Josh.” The other man smiled, “If I didn't know better I'd swear you two were dating.”

Buck froze for half a second and then laughed, “C'mon man, I'll get the pizza, you go get Christopher and we'll meet at your place.”

Eddie nodded, “Sure man. See you there.”

There was something in Eddie gaze that made Buck wonder if that conversation was over but Eddie headed for his truck, Buck headed for his own and focused on enjoying the with his best friend and his son. Best friend, Buck frowned. He hoped Eddie wouldn't be hurt that he wasn't the first in the firehouse to find out. Then again depending on how tomorrow went there might not -be- anything -to- find out.

He and Josh had fallen into things pretty quickly and while he loved the passion and spark between them Buck was starting to wonder if maybe, just maybe, he was a distraction for Josh, a way to no think too much about what happened to him, to 'get back on the horse' without having to actually put himself out there again. And that thought made Buck's stomach churn, because he liked Josh, he -really- liked Josh. He wasn't lying when he said he hadn't felt the way he felt for Josh since Abby.

Abby, the ghost of relationship past. He and Josh definitely need to talk about a -lot-, but for now, as he pulled into Eddie's driveway Buck pushed those things to the back of his mind and headed in with pizza and soda to enjoy a good movie with good friends. 

This was exactly what he needed. Tomorrow was another day.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Taking of Dispatch 9-1-1 from Buck's perspective. Mostly canon, a few 'missing scenes', and I fixed the ending for us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this is a looooong chapter. I basically did the whole episode from start to the re-taking of the dispatch center from Buck's POV, the next chapter will be from Josh's POV and then chapter 15'll be the end of the episode and bit beyond. I'm doing my best to work Josh and Buck's relationship into actual canon storyline so I hope you guys still like it and it works out okay.

Buck had ended up spending the night in Eddie's spare bedroom. He'd had more than he was comfortable to drink and drive home. As he got to his door his phone rang.

“Go for Buck.”

The next few minutes were a bizarre conversation with Chimney about Maddie saying “I love you”, which Buck didn't get. That was a good thing right? After Chim hung up Buck paced his loft for a few minutes and then called Maddie's phone which went straight to voicemail. Weird but not entirely unusual when she was at work. He frowned and decided to call Josh, just to see. Eight in the morning was a slow time at the call center usually so Buck called to see if maybe Josh was free and could assure him, and therefore Chim, that everything was fine.

“Hey, you've reached Josh, sorry I can't take your call, leave a message and I'll call you back. Bye~.”

Buck grinned hearing his boyfriend's voice and sighed, “Hey babe, it's me, just checking on our plans for tonight. Call me.” 

He hung up, frowning a little deeper now. Chim called back and he could hear the upset in his friend's voice.

“Buck, don't try to talk me out of this. I need to go down there for myself, make sure that she's okay.” 

“Yeah, no, she uh...she didn't pick up when I called her either. I tried calling Josh and it went straight to voicemail.”

“Now I'm definitely going.” 

Buck could hear a faint knocking in the background of Chim's call as he replied. “What if something's wrong. Maybe we should call the police.”

He heard Chim open his front door, “I think someone already did.”

Buck -hated- being on the other end of the phone as Athena and Chim talked, and Athena called her boss to see what was going on. He scrambled to try and keep them on the line, huffing when they hung up. He paced his loft, his stomach in knots. Someone had sent Athena to Chimney's place. It had to be either Josh or Maddie, knowing at least one of them was okay, or had been when they'd dispatched someone to Chim's for...a nuance complaint?

He couldn't take it, not knowing Maddie and Josh were there if something was going on, which he was starting to think was. God and they'd fought yesterday over something so stupid. Buck nearly kicked something, he was so mad at himself. 

He grabbed his keys, threw his jacket on and ran to his Jeep. He headed for Chim's place. He sped up and passed Athena's suv and pulled over. He waited for her to come get him and smiled charmingly, or tried to be.

“Okay, now don't be mad.”

Buck winced as she 'threw' him in the back and looked at Chim, “Hey Buck.”

“Heya Chim.” 

“You two tell anyone else what's happening at the call center?”

They both shook their heads.

“Good, cuz I'm running out of room in here.” Athena didn't sound impressed but Buck couldn't help it. His sister _and_ his boyfriend might be trouble, probably _were_ in trouble and that wasn't something he could just sit on the sidelines for.

They pulled into the call center and Buck's heart stared to pound. 

“Okay we're here, now what?” Chim spoke, sounding tired and worried.

“Well if everything's normal I'll be able to walk in that front door and go inside, take a look around see if _everyone_ forgot to charge their damn cell phones.”

“And if it's not normal?” Buck leaned forward, worried.

“We'll find out.” 

Athena left the car and Buck sat back his stomach in knots. “I'm such an idiot.”

Chim looked at him, “Agreed, but what this time?”

“Josh and I fought yesterday right before a call. It was something _so_ stupid, so... pointless. He apologized but I...I didn't forgive him because we had a call and I had to run to meet the truck. We were supposed to talk about it tonight but now...”

Chim continued to looked over his shoulder confused, “You and Josh...fought?” Chim blinked, “And you were gonna talk about it tonight?”

Buck nodded, “Yeah and now...now I can't stop thinking that he thinks I'm mad at him. I just want him to know I'm not you know? Not really? It's just all my life everyone's seen me as...someone else's something. Maddie's kid brother, my parents' son, _Abby's Buck_.” He nearly choked on the words that he and Josh had fought about, “I just for once wanted to be seen for me, just me, as just...Buck. No add-ons, no possessive statements.”

Chim was clearly getting more and more confused the more Buck talked, “Okay but friends fight all the time. Look at you and Eddie, right? You two argue -all- the time. You make up. No big deal.”

Buck made an exaggerated noise and flopped his head back, “That's just it Chim...”

He cut off as Athena got back into the, “We got a problem.”

She pulled out and away from the call center and headed off. She called her boss using her cell phone again and talked. The more she talked the more Buck got worried and he could see that Chimney was worried too.

“So what is a code-77?” Chim asked, even though Buck wasn't sure he wanted to know.

“Ambush. Proceed with caution.”

The words were like weight in Buck's stomach. There _was_ something going on and Josh and Maddie were in the middle of it. 

They pulled over and Athena told Buck to keep an eye on the screen in her car as she did something. He could hear her and Chim talking.

“There has to be a way to communicate with our people inside.” Chim said, making Buck frown a little, there had to be right?

“Well if tracking our vehicles, you gotta assume they're monitoring our calls too.” She grunt and Buck grinned.

“Screen went blank.”

“Good, we're off the grid.”

Chim went to walk away and Buck caught up with him, “Hey, hey hey.” He tried to reassure him that Maddie would be okay, but Chim's reply made his stomach churn, he hadn't even thought about the possibility that Maddie, Josh, some of the others might try and re-take the call center themselves.

God if Josh got hurt, or worse. He felt like he was gonna throw up, but he got into Athena's suv again and tried not to think too much about what was happening in the building they'd left.

They pulled up the staging area and Buck couldn't believe how well things were coming together now. They leaned against the side of Athena's suv while she went to check in with her captain. Chim looked over at him.

“You were gonna say something earlier, about you and Josh but you stopped when Athena got back in the car, what's going on Buck?”

Buck frowned, “It's nothing.”

Chim stared at him, “It's not nothing Buck, what's going on?”

“Josh and I have been hanging out a lot lately, since poker the other week. When Josh got hurt Maddie called me and told me what happened so I went to see him.” Buck fidgeted, this was not how he'd expected to tell his friend, “We were planning on having you and Maddie over for dinner soon, tell you together.”

“Tell us what?” Chim looked confused.

“Josh and I are dating.” He blurted it out and Chim just stared at him, “I'm bisexual. Maddie's known for ages, I think it's why she teased me about not setting me up with Josh but...it happened and it kinda happened because we all got together for cards.”

“But you've only ever dated women.” Chim had a distinct 'does not compute' look on his face.

“I've only ever dated women since you've known me. I had some really bad experiences with guys over the years, girls too, once they find out so I just...stopped telling anyone.”

Chim nodded, he didn't understand, couldn't, but Buck was his friend and the closest thing he'd had to a brother in a long time, not counting Albert of course.

“Alright well, I get it now. Why you're upset about the fight. Your first one?”

Buck nodded, though he was so relieved that Chim was just...accepting. “Yeah, things have been going so well you know? But then I mentioned Abby and it was a little weird, but then we talked about it again yesterday and he called me “Abby's Buck” and it really bothered me.”

“Yeah, it can be hard for sure, you know he didn't mean anything by it though right? I mean it's _Josh_ , he's the sweetest guy ever.” Chim grinned, “Makes me wonder what he sees in you.” He winked, clearly teasing and trying to make Buck feel better.

“Some days I wonder the same thing man.” Buck shook his head and caught sight of Athena and her captain so they jogged over.

The conversation with the two police officers was not reassuring and as they walked away with the head of the other dispatch office Buck frowned as they watched geared up SWAT officers walk by them.

“So this is really happening.” He sighed, “Sorry I thought you were crazy.”

Chim sighed, “I'm sorry I wasn't.”

\- - - - 

The captain walked over once Athena and the other dispatch head were talking among themselves.

“How are we doing those RA units?”

“The 122 and the 133 just pulled in and there's two more houses inbound.” Chim answered.

“Captain? Who, who are all these people on the bus?” Buck asked.

“Off-duty dispatchers. Once we take back the building someone has to handle call response.” 

Chimney sounded concerned, “Take it back? You're not gonna negotiate, see if they surrender first?”

“They haven't asked for anything or made any demands. They don't even want us to know they control of the building. If we reach out we lose the one thing we've got going for us.” She paused, “The element of surprise.”

Buck and Chim both looked at each other, shocked, worried, as the captain kept talking.

“We do this right, we hit the building hard, fast and before they even know we're outside.”

“And if you don't?” Chim did not seem happy to be asking that.

“Why do you think asked for so many RA units?” She patted Chim's shoulder, looking less than happy to being saying that before she walked off.

\- - - -

Buck stood with the others watching the take down/rescue occur. His heart pounded as he waited to hear/see if his sister or boyfriend were okay. Sue walked over to him once she was clear of the building and smiled. Buck watched Maddie come out of the building and Chim rush over to her.

“You know I'm surprised you're not there with your sister too.”

Buck smiled, “She has everything she needs for the moment I'm actually...” His words died in his throat as he saw Josh led out, holding the side of his head, a jacket around his shoulders. “Excuse me.” 

Sue nodded, confused, but Buck couldn't take his eyes off Josh. He ran for the tape, long legs eating up the ground. Like Chim he ducked under the police tape and headed for his loved one.

“Josh!” He called the man's name, watching him stop and turn.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh and Buck greet each other after the taking of the dispatch center, Maddie finds out about them and Buck gets an excuse to have Josh to himself for two whole days...plus a phone call with Bobby and some domestic fluff because man do our boys deserve it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, after watching 3.14 twice in a row to just watch it and then write Buck's chapter I was exhausted. Plus this whole situation we're in now is exhausting! Then there was Eddie Begins, which yes, will be coming up in the story I promise! I needed a break, I needed some fluff, so~ chapter 14 continues on from where 13 ended, 15 and/or 16 will include Josh telling Buck about the hostage situation and revelations he had during it. I know that wasn't the original plan but~ this is what I, and the muses apparently, needed.

The look on Josh's face broke Buck's heart but he made it over to him and cupped his face in his hands, watching him a moment.

“You're bleeding.” the words were out before he realized how ridiculously obvious they were, “What happened baby?”

Josh blushed, “I did something silly to protect Terry. Got hit in the head with one of the guns.” He admitted and Buck's eyes widen.

“Oh babe.” He let his thumbs stroke his cheeks, “I am...so glad you're okay.”

Josh smiled, “I kept thinking of you out there, wondering if you knew what was going on. It was _so_ hard and I was _so_ scared.”

Buck pressed a soft kiss to Josh's forehead, “I'm here, I've been with Chim and Athena the whole time trying figure out what was going on. Especially after Athena showed up at Chimney's place for...deadly onions?”

Josh sagged a bit, “It worked. Thank god.”

Buck grinned brightly, “That was you?”

Josh nodded and then groaned. “Oh that was a bad idea.”

“Sir, we need to examine you.” the EMT said and Buck shifted to hold Josh's hand in his own.

“Go for it, but I'm not leaving his side.”

The EMT hummed and Josh spoke up, “It's okay, he's my boyfriend.”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, I am.” He frowned, “I may have spilled the beans to Chim.”

Josh blinked, “You did?”

“Yeah we were talking and I blurted out about our fight yesterday and how stupid I felt about it and how worried I was that I wouldn't get to tell you how sorry I was and that I forgive you even though there's nothing to forgive.” He flushed, “He talked about how friends fight all the time and it's not big deal. Anyway, long story short I told him we're more than friends, that we're dating.”

Josh chuckled, “It's okay, I'm glad you felt safe with Chim to tell him.”

Buck nodded, “I did.”

The EMT examined Josh as they talked, asking a few questions here and there. “He's definitely got a minor concussion from the blow to his head.”

“Alright, I'm a firefighter at the 118, I know the protocol and my sister used to be nurse. I'll keep an eye on him for the next forty-eight hours and if things get hairy I'll take him to the ER.”

Josh frowned, concussions sucked, but forty-eight hours with Buck? That he could handle. Buck wrapped an arm around Josh once the EMT bandaged up the side of his head and started them towards where Maddie and Chim were.

Maddie ran the last few feet and hugged him tight. Buck moved his arms and wrapped them around his sister, “You gotta stop doing this to me Mads.” He murmured and she gave a tearful laugh.

“I'll try, no promises.”

Buck laughed, “Yeah well, next time? Maybe don't include my boyfriend in the fun?”  
  


The siblings separated and Maddie blinked, “Your boyfriend?”

Buck wrapped his arm back around Josh and bent down, kissing the older man softly before he looked at Maddie, “Yeah, my boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for a few weeks. We were planning on having you and Chim over for dinner in a few days to tell you actually.”

Maddie laughed and hugged Josh, “I told you I loved you too much to set you up with him so you did it on your own huh?”

Josh looked a bit sheepish, “Actually, I think Buck sorta did it. After Greg attacked me he showed up at my place with wine and a movie just to keep me company, see how I was doing. A few days later he asked me over to his apartment, made me dinner and I brought the movie this time. We've been having these wine and movie dates ever since. But things...changed over time and a few days ago we finally acknowledged that we're more than just friends.”

Buck nodded, “I told Josh about my struggles coming out and all that, he's been amazing. So understanding and accepting of my needing time to open up about this stuff.”

Maddie smiled, “I'm so happy for you Buck, really.” She looked at Josh then, “Concussion?”

He nodded carefully, “Yeah, Buck offered to look after me the next couple days.”

Chim looked at Buck, “You know we have a twenty-four coming up right?”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, I'm gonna call Bobby in a bit, see if I can take a few days to take care of Josh. If this morning's taught me _anything_ it's that I need to follow my instincts and trust those I care about.”

Chim nodded, “Alright, I'll back you up if you need it. But between you and probably Athena's recount of today I doubt he'll mind.”

Buck grinned, “Thanks Chim.” He looked at Josh, “We should get you home.”

Josh leaned into Buck, “Okay. Though we should stop at your place, you'll need some clothes and stuff for the next little while.”

Buck grinned, “Or we could stop at your place and get stuff for _you_ and then go back to my place?”

Chim and Maddie laughed, heading to get Maddie's car and head home themselves as Buck started leading Josh to where his Jeep was. He'd had an officer drop him and Chim off to pick it up before they made their way to the dispatch center.

Josh leaned against Buck as they walked to the care, “I feel like such an idiot, _Greg_ the date from Hell? He was one of the gunmen today. Nearly died too.”

Buck blinked, “What? Oh my god are you alright?” Buck stopped and turned to look at Josh, “What do you mean he almost died?”

Josh sighed, “I'm still feeling a little shaky honestly but...can we go home first? Let me change, get some stuff from my place and I can tell you what happened over lunch?”

Buck nodded, “Of course baby, whatever you need. What do you want for lunch? I can make us something nice, or we can just pick up take out, completely up to you.”

Josh sighed softly, “I don't know. You know I love when you cook for me.”

Buck laughed, “Then it's settled. I'm pretty sure I have everything for spaghetti carbonara and chocolate mousse, how's that sound?”

Josh groaned, “Oh Buck you are...amazing you know that right?”

Buck laughed, “so you keep telling me.” He opened the passenger door of the Jeep for him and helped him get inside, careful of his head, “There, now get comfy and buckle up.”

Josh snagged Buck's jacket and tugged him close, kissing him softly, “I will, but there's something I need to tell you, something I realize in there and I can't wait.”

Buck blinked, “Okay? What's up baby?”

Josh flushed and he looked at Buck, at those big blue eyes and hope this wasn't going to screw everything up, “I love you.”

Buck's jaw dropped, his eyes widened, of all the things he'd thought Josh was going to say _that_ hadn't even made the list. His mouth worked soundlessly a moment as he processed one, the words, and two, how he felt too. It didn't take long, less than thirty seconds really and Buck just beamed at Josh.

“I love you too.” Buck knew they were true the moment he said them. He didn't know when he's started to fall in love with Josh, maybe it was that first tentative kiss, but the feeling had been growing and it was there now, completely and unreservedly. “I love you Josh, I do, so much. I was so scared when you were in there and you thought I was mad at you.”

Josh gasped, he hadn't really though Buck would say it back and he said it _twice_. Josh kissed him again, kissed him until his head was spinning and he couldn't tell if it was concussion or Buck. Buck groaned softly and pulled back.

“Easy there handsome, need to keep you blood pressure down okay?” Buck stroked his cheek, “Come on, let's get home, get lunch, you can tell me about your day and when you realized you love me.”

Josh laughed softly, “Deal. You'll need to call your captain too though remember?”

Buck nodded, “I do. Don't worry, I'll call Bobby while I'm cooking.”

Josh grinned, “Alright. That works.”

They held hands on the drive to Josh's place and on the walk up once they were both out of the Jeep. Buck waited in the living room while Josh changed and packed.

“Do you wanna bring any of your CDs?” He called out, curious if Josh would want to have familiar music playing.

“No, that's okay, it's only a couple days.”

Josh came out in jeans, which Buck wasn't sure he'd ever actually seen him wear and green button-down shirt that somehow made his eyes look warmer than they already did. Even with the bandage on the side of his head.

Buck moved over to him and kissed him softly, he was _never_ going to get tired of kissing Josh he just knew it. Josh blinked up at him, flushing a bit.

“What was that for?”

Buck laughed, “I need a reason to kiss the man I love?”

Josh ducked his head and shook it carefully, “No, I guess not.” He took Buck's hand, “Come on, let's go home.”

Buck blinked, did Josh just call his place home? He decided not to dwell on it too much. He nodded and headed for the door with Josh. He waited while Josh locked the apartment, pocketed the keys and then headed back to the Jeep.

\- - - -

They'd just gotten in to Buck's place when his phone rang. He looked down and blinked, “It's Bobby, I'm gonna take this in the kitchen, get working on lunch. Go ahead and take your stuff up to the loft.”

Josh nodded and Buck watched him until he got to the top of the stairs, just in case, while answering the phone.

“Hey Bobby.” Buck tried to sound cheerful but he knew Bobby'd hear through it.

“Hey Buck, are you okay? I just heard from Athena what happened at the dispatch center. Is Maddie alright?”

Buck headed for the kitchen starting to get the stuff out for the mousse since it would need time to set up, “Yeah, yeah, Maddie's fine. Shaken up, but fine. Chim took her home to rest.”

He heard Bobby's relieved breath, “Oh good.”

Buck sighed, “Yeah, but uh...Bobby I kinda need a favour. And I hate having to ask and explain all this over the phone but I can't really leave my apartment right now.”

There was silence for a moment, “Alright well, I'll come to you.”

Buck blinked, “Really?”

“Of course son, you need something and it'd be easier face to face I'll be there. Give me fifteen.”

Buck nodded even though Bobby couldn't see him, “Thanks Bobby, I'm making lunch right now, will you stay?”

“You're welcome Buck.” There's a small pause, “Let's see how the conversation goes, but make enough for three, sure.”

Buck grinned, “Alright, cool. See you soon Bobby, and thanks again.”

They say their good byes and hang up. Josh hasn't come back down yet so Buck sets his phone down and heads for the loft. Josh is sitting on the corner of the bed and Buck takes the stairs two at a time.

“Hey, you okay?”

Josh blinked at Buck, “Huh, oh, yah, just...thinking I guess and I wasn't sure if going down the stairs on my own was a good idea. I'm a little shaken, don't wanna fall. But I wasn't sure if you were done your phone call or not.”

Buck relaxed, walking over and sitting next to Josh before wrapping an arm around his shoulders, “Yeah I'm done. Bobby's coming over. I sorta mentioned I didn't like having to do this over the phone and he said he'd come by. You okay meeting him?”

Josh nodded carefully, “Sure, I mean at least this way he won't think you're making things up.”

Buck snorted, “I'd never lie about you. Ever.” He kissed him softly for a moment, “Come on, let's get down stairs, get you a drink while we wait for Bobby.”

Josh nodded and let Buck help him up. They made their way slowly down the stairs and Buck made sure Josh was settled at the island before getting him a bottle of water and getting the kettle on for tea.

“You're so good to me.”

Buck looked over from where he was separating the eggs for the mousse and grinned, “Of course I am, and you're good to me too Josh.”

Almost exactly fifteen minutes after Buck and Bobby hung up their phones Bobby knocked on the door of Buck's apartment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby arrives, Buck finishes making lunch and Josh begins to tell the story of what happened at the call center...or at least what led up to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter ended up being a bit more Buck & Bobby heavy, which isn't surprising, but I -promise- I'm already working on the next chapter!

Buck had just popped the mousse in the fridge and got the pasta cooking when the knock came. He smiled at Josh, stealing a kiss as he walked passed to get the door. Buck took a deep breath and opened he door, smiling at Bobby.

“Hey Bobby, thanks for coming.”

“Hey Buck. And of course, it sounded important on the phone.” Bobby stepped in and looked around. He hadn't been to Buck's often but it was a nice place.

Buck nodded, “Yeah, I uh...I need to take the next few days off.”

Buck started back towards the kitchen, Bobby following, “You said Maddie was fine. Is there...” He paused seeing Josh at the island, “Oh, hello.”

Buck nodded, “Maddie _is_ fine,” He grinned when Bobby noticed Josh, moving to wrap his arm around him, “Josh on the other hand, is not.”

Josh waved, leaning into Buck but looking nervous. “Hi.”

Bobby blinked, “Josh? Maddie's friend?”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, except...Josh is _more_ than Maddie's friend. He's...also my boyfriend.”

Bobby blinked and then sighed, “Dammit, Hen was right.”

Buck blinked himself, “Right? About what?”

“She swore you weren't straight. Said there were just “certain things” about you that straight men don't do.”

Buck's jaw dropped, “Well...huh.” He pressed a tender kiss to Josh's forehead, “Hen's freaky intuition aside, Josh got hurt today.”

Bobby nodded, “ I can see that. Concussion?” He held his hand out, “I'm Bobby Nash by the way, you probably met, or have talked to my wife before, Sgt Athena Grant.”

“Yes, mild, they think, but I need to be watched for the next forty-eight hours.” Josh smiled, taking Bobby's hand, “Nice to finally meet you. Maddie and Chim talk about you a lot. And Buck's mentioned you too. The whole team really. And yes, I uh...I think so. Sue talked to her today I think. It's all a bit jumbled still.”

“Ah, hence the favour.” Bobby smiled, Josh seemed like a nice guy, “So, how long as has this been going on?” Bobby nodded to the information about Sue and Athena, he'd get the whole story from Athena tonight once everything was wrapped up.

“Yeah, hence the favour.” Buck flushed as Bobby took a seat at the island, “Few weeks. Josh was...mugged a few weeks ago and I went by his place to see if he was okay. Then he came here for dinner.”

Bobby chuckled, “The night you called me a dozen times to ask about shrimp scampi?”

Buck's flush deepened but he nodded, “Yeah. I wanted it to be perfect. Didn't realize _why_ at the time, but Josh is special.”

“The pasta baby.” Josh winked and Buck laughed.

“Right, thanks.” He gave Josh a quick kiss and then got back to work on lunch.

Bobby was happy to see Buck's confidence in the kitchen was growing. He watched the young man cook, getting the bowls and such out, mix ingredients and whip up a quick and delicious smelling carbonara for them all.

“So, you need me to find someone to cover your twenty-four hour shift tomorrow.” Bobby commented, watching Buck nod.

“Yeah, I do. He needs someone with him and I can't ask Maddie, she went through pretty much the exact same trauma, she needs to heal you know?” Buck tossed the pasta in the sauce as he spoke.

Bobby nodded, “Yeah, I get it.” He looks at Josh, the bandage on his head and the way he watched Buck, “Alright, I'll see what I can do. Either way you're here for at least the next forty-eight, no worries.”

Buck relaxed as Bobby said he could have the time off, “ Thanks Bobby. I really appreciate that. I know things have been rough this year...”

“It's okay Buck, really. That's all behind us now. I'm just glad you're happy and that the people you and Chim care about are safe. The 118 is a family, when one of ours is hurt, we rally for them. I should have done that earlier than I did for you, but I'm glad things are good again.”

Josh wasn't entirely sure what Buck and Bobby were talking about but for now, he just listened while Buck cooked. As Buck served up the food Josh's stomach growled, making him flush.

“I didn't have much to eat this morning and stress well...”

“Stress makes you hungry.” Bobby agreed as Buck set their plates in front of them.

“What would you like to drink Bobby?”

“Water's fine Buck, thanks.”

Buck nodded, got more water for the three of them and took a seat. They all started eating and Bobby sighed.

“Okay, I know Athena'll tell me _her_ side of things when she gets home tonight but...what the hell happened this morning?”

Buck frowned and looks at Josh, “Baby, you okay with telling both of us?”

Josh nodded slowly, finishing his bite of pasta and washing it down with water, “Well, technically it started three weeks ago...I wasn't _actually_ mugged, I had the date from Hell. I thought the guy was nice, he seemed really sweet. We went somewhere more private where he and a buddy beat me up, stole my phone and wallet, it was...awful honestly. I got everything back except the cash in my wallet, which hadn't been much. And honestly I was just happy not to need to replace my credit cards and work ID's, all that. I should've known better.”

Bobby frowned as he ate, “Wait, so you told the cops you'd been mugged but that's _not_ what happened?”

Josh shook his head, “No, I was so embarrassed, so...it's hard Bobby, being a gay man, even in LA, even in 2020. I was so ashamed I got...gay bashed that I couldn't...I couldn't tell anyone. Well, I told Maddie and she apparently told Buck but otherwise, I just didn't need the pity and whatever else was going to come my way if I told people what happened.”

Bobby nodded slowly, he'd talked to Hen some about the challenges LGBT people faced day to day, and hearing it from Josh reinforced things.

“Alright, go on.”

Josh sighed, letting himself recount what happened, “So, anyway, I went on my date from Hell, Buck comes over the next day, things slowly start...developing and then yesterday I stuck my foot in my mouth.” He sighed, “The minute I hung up the phone Buck, I _knew_ that did _not_ go well. But, I pushed it to the side and handled work. Jamal said he was taking extra hours, so no karaoke and I just went home alone. I put on Casablanca just to have something to watch that I could not really focus on while I thought things over. Stuff like 'Why oh why had I called you “Abby's Buck”, you don't belong to Abby, hadn't when you were dating, definitely don't now.' And 'God why did it matter?!' I finished the movie and went to bed, hoping today would be better, that we could talk and everything would be okay.”

Buck flushed, not sure how he felt about Bobby hearing all that but he nodded, “It's okay Josh, really. I forgive you, I forgave you...last night I just didn't know if I should call and I think I needed a bit of time to just chill you know?”

Josh nodded, “Yeah, I know baby, I know. I'm just glad we're both okay.” Josh ate little more and then continued tell Bobby and Buck about what happened that morning at the call center.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh explains what happened in the call center over lunch, Bobby accepts Josh as family and there's some cute fluffiness.

That morning...

Josh got to work and grinned at Maddie, “So, how was last night? I want details.”

She laughed, “Well there was a pelvic splint involved.”

“Kinky.” He winked at her.

“There's a heavy police presence today.”

Josh laughed, “Scheduled sit-ins. It's on the calendar, if you ever look at it.” He teased.

“Why would I do that? I have you.” She teased back and headed to put her bag away while Josh moved to get coffee and chat with Linda for a moment or two.

He walked back towards his desk, meaning to stop at Maddie's desk on his way. He saw Sue walk up to Maddie with someone and felt the blood drain from his face as he saw Greg with Sue. He dropped the cup as Greg spoke.

“Hey handsome, see any good movies lately?”

The next few minutes are a terrifying blur until he and Maddie and most of the others are forced into the hall to wait. He wondered if he looked as miserable as he felt.

“How did you know?” Maddie spoke softly, “You dropped the coffee cup.”

Josh hung his head, “I recognized him. Greg, or whatever his name is. My date from Hell.”

Maddie gasped softly, “He's the one who attacked you?” Josh nodded and Maddie sighed, “They targeted you because you work here.”

“This is all my fault, if I'd told the police.”

Maddie started talking almost immediately, “No, this is not your fault.” She shook her head, “No matter what the plan.”

“Maddie you only do something like _this_ , so you can do something _worse._ We have to warn someone.”

“I already did, I just hope he gets the message.”

\- - - -

Josh stumbled a bit as he was pulled towards a seat, taking it and working as best he could. His stomach was in knots, he felt like he was gonna puke. He didn't know _why_ they were having police away from downtown. He was starting to break, he was sure of it. The onion call was almost too much.

“They put green onions in my omelette.”

“That's not an emergency ma'am.”

“I explicitly told them I was allergic. That's attempted murder.”

“Are you having an allergic reaction?”

“I'm not _actually_ allergic, but they don't know that.”

“You can't tie up our lines because someone made you the wrong breakfast order.” He tried not to shudder as he felt Greg come over and lean close.

“Of course I can.” the woman continued, “My tax dollars pay your salaries.”

“You still feel like you're making a difference?” Greg sneered, he was too close, he was too close, “I bet this woman really thinks you're...god what is the word...” Josh flash backed to the date, the words he'd said to Greg, “worthwhile.” He mocked.

“Ma'am it is a crime to make a false report to 9-1-1, I could have you arrested.” Josh forced the words out as memories of his assault flashed before his eyes and he tried, desperately, not to breakdown.

“What, you're sending the police?”

Josh made a decision, backspaced the location and input Chimney's apartment address instead, “Yes, I am. I'm sending someone right now, you might not wanna be there when they arrive.”

He was pulled away just as he hit send, god he hoped this worked, he really really hoped this worked.

The discussion about Jake made him sick, he hoped he'd made the right call, now more than ever. He told them about dispatching the police to the onion lady, but not exactly where he'd sent them.

\- - - -

The glass shattered, people screamed. Greg was yelling at the two fighting men when Terry got up and ran for the fire alarm and Josh saw the bald man level the gun at his friend. _Oh hell no, not today!_ He thought and shoved the man's arm so the bullets went flying into the ceiling. Terry and Greg, who'd been running after Terry both stopped short. Josh's relief that Terry was okay was short lived as felt the butt of Baldy's gun strike the side of his head and the steady trickle of blood on his cheek while his head rung like a bell.

“Next one goes in your head.” Baldy sneered at him.

Everything else was kind of a blur for a few moments but he did remember getting dragged into the middle of the main room, keeping himself curled up to just...rest. He knew he had a concussion, he was pretty sure he did anyway.

\- - - -

The rest of the incident is a bit of a blur, he vaguely remembered Linda pretending to have an allergic reaction, Sue covering it for it, Maddie running to get the EpiPen and jamming it into Greg's hand. The gun shot when Sue almost shoots Baldy is shocking and he nearly laughs when she repeats his words back to him, something telling him she won't miss. Maddie's cry when she realizes she must've hit a vein in Greg's heart rips him apart. One because he doesn't want Maddie to deal with that but also because no, no he doesn't _get_ to die, he doesn't _get_ to get out of this.

“No!” He scrambled over and started to do CPR in him, “You don't get to die! You don't get to die!”

He's pretty sure he's sobbing as he worked to get Greg's heart started again. The lights went out, there's shout but he'd been too focused on not letting Greg die, not letting him get away with this it's not until the EMTs were practically on top of him that he stopped, sat back and raised his hands.

The EMTs and cops help them all up, someone wrapped a jacket around his shoulders and led him towards the exit. He'd been so shaken, the light had been so bright when he stepped outside.

\- - - -

“And then I heard your voice.” Josh looked over at Buck who looked utterly heartbroken by the story he'd just told them, “I heard you call my name and I knew everything was going to be okay.”

Bobby was finished his pasta, having been eating the whole time Josh was talking. “It sounds like you all got very lucky.” He sighed, “Athena's gonna have a long day I think.”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, probably. But you know she'll be happy to be home when she gets there.”

Bobby nodded, “Yeah, we'd just gotten home with Harry when she called and told us what happened. I left Michael and Harry at the house to rest and unpack.”

Josh blinked, “Huh?”

Buck grinned, “Bobby, his step-son Harry, and Athena's ex-husband went on a camping trip this weekend.” He looked at Bobby, “How _did_ that go?”

Josh smiled at Buck, thankful to not be the center of attention for a while. Bobby laughed and launched into his own story about the trip, what the tradition meant to Michael and Harry, why he'd been asked along the whole nine. Once Bobby finished his story he sighed.

“I should get home, get dinner started. I doubt Athena will want to cook and you,” Bobby pointed to Josh, “Should get some rest.” He offered the man his hand, “It was nice to meet you. You two should come by for dinner soon. And then next time we have a firehouse gathering, you're invited.”

Josh blinked, but took Bobby's hand, “Thank you. It was nice to meet you too.” He looked to Buck, “Firehouse gathering?”

Buck grinned, “Yeah, few times a month when we've all got the day off, or a night, we all get together. Usually at Bobby and Athena's place, though Eddie's hosted a few times, or we'll have a group picnic at the park. It's fantastic.” He looked at Bobby, “I'll walk you out. Babe, why don't you go get comfy on the couch and I'll be right there? We can watch a movie.” He kissed him softly.

“Oh, that does sound great. Absolutely, if my schedule allows.” He looked back at Buck, kissing him back, “Mmm, I can do that.” He got up, waved bye to Bobby and headed for the couch.

"You're usually on the same schedule as Maddie so if she's coming, so are you.” Buck enjoyed the quick kiss and took a second to watch Josh head for the couch.

Bobby headed for the door, Buck following with him. They paused at the door and Bobby kept his voice down, “I like him. He's clearly a good man, he's been through hell but he's good. And good for you too.”

Buck flushed, “Thanks Bobby, he's uh...yeah, Josh is great. Not normally my type but maybe that's exactly what I needed. Abby wasn't really my type either you know.”

Bobby nodded, “No, she wasn't. She helped make you a better person, but Josh, I think he _needs_ that better person you've become.”

“Yeah, you know, I think maybe you're right.” He hugged Bobby and let him out of the apartment.

Buck closed the door and leaned against it. Man he was lucky. He takes a moment or two and then heads to snuggle with his boyfriend on the couch.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buck and Josh spend the day after the taking of dispatch together only they get a surprise visit in the afternoon.

The next couple of days were pretty amazing all things considered. They worked through the concussion protocol the first night, snuggled in Buck's bed which was really nice. Josh slept the best he had since his attack wrapped up in Buck's arms. The next morning after Josh had showered Buck re-bandaged his head wound and made them breakfast. They spent the day cuddled on the couch until about 3pm when there was a knock at the door.

“You expecting someone?” Josh tipped his head up to look at Buck.

“No.”

The sound of the key sliding into the door had him frozen, it was Eddie.

“Buck?” Eddie's voice filtered through the apartment.

Josh shifted carefully so Buck could get up. The sound of crutches followed Eddie into the apartment. Christopher slowly came into view and he blinked, his head tilting in confusion.

“Hello, who are you?”

Josh blinked at Christopher, “I'm Josh. You must be Christopher. Buck and Maddie have told me a lot about you.”

Christopher nodded as Eddie rounded the corner, apparently having been looking elsewhere while Christopher followed the sound of the tv.

“Yes, that's me.” He frowned, “Are you hurt?”

Buck was still frozen, staring at Eddie.

  
“Buck? Everything okay?”

Buck finally snapped out of it, “Huh? Oh hey Eds, yeah, yeah, everything's fine.” He got up and moved over to talk to Eddie, “Josh got hurt yesterday morning during the uh...incident. He needs someone with him for the next couple days and Cap said I could take the time.”

“For a friend?” Eddie looked confused, “Doesn't he have family or something? Why can't Maddie do it?”

Buck actually bitch-faced at Eddie, “After going through basically the same thing minus the head wound? Come on Eds, Maddie needs the rest as much as Josh does. And, Josh isn't exactly my friend...well not _just_ my friend anyway.”

\- - - -

Josh watched Buck move to talk to Eddie and focused on Christopher, “Um...yeah, little bit. I hurt my head at work yesterday and Buck's helping take care of me till I'm better.”

Christopher's face lit up and he made his way to the couch, sitting down and setting his crutches aside, “He's really good at that.”

Josh smiled, he could see why Buck loved the kid so much, “Yeah, he's uh...he's doing a really good job.”

Christopher nodded, “Yeah, he helped me after the tsunami. We were there...together. It was rough but Buck saved me. He saved a lot of people.”

Josh grinned, he remembered working the tsunami, it had been Hell, “I was working that day too. I work with Maddie at the 9-1-1 dispatch center.”

\- - - -

A distinct 'does not compute' look crossed Eddie's face, “What do you mean he's not _just_ your friend?”

Buck shifted, sighing, “This wasn't exactly how I imagined you finding out but, Josh is my boyfriend.”

Eddie blinked at him a few times, “I'm sorry, what?”

Buck stood up straighter, “Josh is my boyfriend, we've been dating for a few weeks now, it's...sorta getting serious.”

Eddie stared at Buck, “But...but Abby and Ali and...” Eddie was definitely confused by this, “You're bi?”

Buck nodded, “Yeah, I am. I hadn't dated a guy since I got to LA but yeah.”

Eddie nodded, “Oh, well, okay.” He looked over to where Christopher was sitting with Josh, clearly having a good time. “I uh...Carla had an appointment this afternoon, I needed someone to watch Christopher till around six. But you're busy.”

Buck laughed, “Oh please, we're watching tv and talking, we're not _that_ busy.” He grinned, “Plus they seem to be getting along, leave him here, we'll feed him dinner and Carla can pick him up when she's ready. No worries.”

Eddie hummed, “Are you sure? I can call Karen.”

Buck scoffed and looked over, “Hey Christopher? You wanna hang with me and Josh for a while?”

\- - - -

Christopher smiled, “I like Maddie, she's nice.”

Josh nodded, “She my best friend. She's amazing.”

Christopher laughed, “Yeah? Then why don't you come to our parties? Maddie's always there.”

Josh blinked, “I uh...I don't know. But I met Bobby yesterday and he said I can come to the next one.”

They both looked over when Buck called out to Christopher, the boy gasped and bounced a bit, “Yeah! Can we watch Nemo?”

Buck turned to Eddie, “Think that settles that.”

Eddie nodded, “Yeah, alright. I gotta get to work but uh...we'll talk later.”

Buck nodded back, “Yeah, I know Eds.”

Eddie walked over, hugged Christopher, “You listen to Buck okay?”

Christopher nodded, “Always. Love you dad.”

Eddie smiled, “Love you too.” He waved to Josh, “I'd love to stay and chat but duty calls.”

“No problem, I work at dispatch, I get it. We'll have you two over for dinner some time soon.” Josh smiled, not sure why he made the offer but it made sense.

Eddie blinked, surprised, “Um...sure, we'll figure it out. Buck and I are almost always on the same schedule.”

Josh grinned, “Perfect. See you later.”

Eddie headed out and Buck moved back to the couch, though stopped at the DVD player to put Finding Nemo on. He sat kind of awkwardly next to Josh and Christopher watched them both a moment or two.

“Hey Buck?”

Buck looked over at Christopher, “Yeah buddy?”

“Is Josh... your boyfriend?”

Both men froze and Buck laughed softly, grinning, he should've known Christopher would pick up on that.

“Yeah buddy, he is. Is that okay?”

Christopher watched them a moment or two and then nodded, “Yeah. I think so.” He turned and watched the movie, “One of my classmates has two dads, and Denny has two moms.”

Buck relaxed and draped his arm around Josh, “Yeah, that's true.”

“So, do you like boys _and_ girls? Dad said you dated a girl once.”

Buck flushed but nodded again, “Yeah buddy, I do. I like boys and I like girls. I only dated girls since your dad's known me. Josh is my first boyfriend in a long time.”

Christopher turned away from the movie and watched Buck, “Why?”

“Well, sometimes...when someone likes boys and girls equally it can be hard for people to understand. They get confused or angry, they think things that aren't true about you, that you're... “stuck” halfway between only liking boys and only liking girls and one day you'll decide you only like one or the other. Or that if you're with a boy you might cheat on them with a girl because you like both.”

Christopher frowned, “That's silly. If you love someone you love them, you wouldn't do something like that just because you saw a pretty girl.”

Buck grinned, “Yeah, exactly. I love Josh, I'd never hurt him by doing something like that.”

Josh smiled at Buck, he was so good with kids. Or this one at least.

Christopher looked at Josh, “Do you like boys and girls too?”

Josh shook his head carefully, “No, I just like boys. But I like Buck the most.”

Buck flushed, that was adorable. Christopher grinned, “yeah. Buck's great.” He hummed a bit, “Are you gonna get married like Hen and Karen?”

Both men froze. Okay _that_ hadn't been a question they'd expected. Buck rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

“I don't know buddy, Josh and I have only been dating a few weeks, marriage is...a big thing, it's really important and shouldn't be done...too quickly.”

Christopher hummed again, “Okay, but if you do get married, I wanna be there.”

Buck laughed, “Of course you will buddy, if we do, you'll be there. Your dad too.”

“Alright.” His curiosity apparently sated for now Christopher turned his attention back to the movie.

They finished the movie and had dinner as promised. At just after six there was a knock on the door. Buck kissed Josh, which made Christopher giggle, and went to answer the door.

“Hey Buckaroo,” Carla grinned at him, “I'm here to get our little man.”

“Carla!” Christopher made his way over, beaming.

“Hey there Christopher, did you have a good time?”

Christopher nodded, “Yep! I watched Nemo with Buck and Josh, and we had soup and grilled cheese for dinner, it was _great_.”

Carla blinked at Christopher, “Who's Josh?” He attention turned back to Buck.

“Josh is uh...he's my boyfriend.” Buck smiled and then turned to see Josh coming from around the corner. “Josh, this is Carla, she works with Eddie and Christopher to help make sure Christopher has everything he needs.”

“Nice to meet you.” Josh offered Carla his hand once he was close enough, though he stayed close to Buck.

“Nice to meet you too.” Carla shook his hand, “Should you be up sweetheart? Looks like you got a nasty bump there.”

Josh flushed, “I'm fine. There was a uh...incident at work yesterday, I got hurt, but I'm okay. Just staying with Buck for a few days as a precaution.”

“Mmhmmm,” Carla watched the two of them, “Alright well you boys have a good night. C'mon Christopher.”

Christopher moved over to Buck hugging him, “Thanks Buck. I had a _great_ time.” He moved over to Josh, “May I hug you?”

Josh blinked and then crouched down opening his arms, “Absolutely buddy, any friend of Buck's a friend of mine.”

Christopher beamed and hugged Josh, careful of his head and the crutches. “Mine too.”

Josh grinned as Christopher stepped back and reached up to Buck who gently drew him back to a standing position, a warm smile on his face.

Carla and Christopher headed out, Carla closing the door behind them allowing Buck to finally relax. Josh leaned against him and gave him a hug.

“Christopher is an amazing boy, I can see why you love him so much.”

Buck smiled, “Yeah, he's great. He's actually the one that pushed me to come see you.”

“He is?”

Buck nodded, leading Josh back to the couch to snuggle as he told him about the skateboarding incident, finding the frame and his conversation with Christopher. Josh smiled softly.

“I'll have to thank him next time I see him.” Josh happily snuggled Buck as they put on a movie and just enjoyed the rest of the evening.

They headed up to bed, spent some time kissing and just holding each other before snuggling close and falling asleep. Things were good, things were really good honestly and Buck couldn't have been happier.


End file.
